Matt Writes Words

thoughts about movies, writing, and whatever else is on my mind

Month: January, 2012

Renewing The Vow

I’ve been mildly depressed lately. That tends to happen when I am not working on anything, and a little vicious cycle happens wherein I don’t feel like doing anything because I’m depressed, and I’m depressed because I’m not doing anything. Everything becomes dull and motivation is only a peripheral notion.

I’ve also been re-evaluating what writing means to me. I don’t really enjoy writing. I think I used to, maybe, but I don’t really get much out of it any more, as far as the content of what I’m writing goes.

That said, I can see that writing has been a useful act for me to do. The experience of life becomes sharper and I feel better about myself when I write consistently. The same holds true for exercise and meditation. It doesn’t matter if I write well, or exercise well, or meditate well, which is great because I don’t have the motivation or interest in excelling at any of those things.

In my re-evaluation, I’ve started to see these activities as markers for my day or week, and I’m starting to think that is the way in which they are most useful. By “markers for my day,” I mean the idea that, “Okay, I am doing THIS now.” It helps to compartmentalize the activities of the day, the times of the day, and that is how it works to bring the day into sharper focus.

The thing with depression is that all the days and activities just blur together. My only two real markers right now is going to sleep and waking up—everything in between is just a blur and I’ve been tending to spend most of that time on Facebook. So the action or practice of writing/meditating/exercising would be of value because they give the day a shape and edges, and having to make time for those things brings in a certain amount of focus. The hope is that focus/edges/shapes will mean a less blurry image of the day/week/month.

So it’s in that spirit that I want to renew my vow to myself of doing these things on a consistent basis. I hope to remind myself that I am not looking for a particular result as far as the quality of the action goes. It’s enough to do these things just to sharpen myself up. I’m don’t need to be interested in writing well or meditating well or exercising well. That’s good, because I’m not feeling motivated enough to try and be good at any of those things.

Movies I Liked in 2011 (Part 2)

Part 1 of this list can be found here.

When I sit down in a cinema, it’s kind of like I’m on a date with that movie (lord knows I’m not on a date with an actual woman). Usually, it’ll be a movie that seems perfectly nice, and I could list all the lovely things about it, but in the end I’d rather just be friends with it. Who can explain or predict these matters of the heart? Sometimes I’ll fall in love with a movie because it gave me what I needed on a personal level at the moment that I watched it. I might see a better movie that year that didn’t offer me as much on that personal level. Loving movies has nothing to do with finding the most accomplished, perfect movies, and everything to do with the particular connection you find with it.

This is why I can’t really bring myself to rank movies. It’s so personal. It just doesn’t make sense as far as how I think about movies. I don’t fully understand why I feel the way I do about anything.

I don’t know why I loved these movies, and I certainly have no idea whether they are the best movies of the year or not. I tried to write a little bit about why I connected with them, but I don’t really understand why I fall in love with the things that I fall in love with.

So it’s in that confused spirit that I offer this second half of the list of 8 movies that I felt like writing about. There is no order.

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WEEKEND

This movie is about two hearts that move from being closed and frightened to being a little more open and a little bolder, thanks to the honest connection with another human being. Movies about that always move me tremendously because nothing is more terrifying to me than the thought of being emotionally open with another human being. So, even though this film is about a gay romance, I related to the loneliness of the main characters—each of the two men present a front to their friends but eventually allow themselves to be honest with each other. It is so tenderly and believably handled in this film, and it becomes tremendously moving to see how their short romance changes them as people. I suppose that’s supposed to be the potential power of love, so even though their romance was not meant to last, the film as a whole is still quite uplifting.

(Available on Netflix Streaming now)

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ATTENBERG

 

I’ve only gotten one chance to see this, and that was in March during SXSW, so the film is a bit hazy in my memory. I just remember loving it. It was the perfect thing to see at that moment in my life—something bold, strange, animalistic. The connections between humans and other animals has been of particular interest to me for a long time, and this is a film wryly observes human behavior as if it were the same as observing animals in the wild in a nature documentary. The film makes these observations through its main character, a young woman who is openly confused about how and why people act the way they do, needing to learn how to behave like a normal human being. I guess I related to her confusion, but I just hide it better. It’s also a really funny movie. All I know is that I can’t wait to see it again.

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MEEK’S CUTOFF

 

Firstly, I just find this film beautiful. Wonderfully shot in Academy Ratio (square screen), this film gives us a version of the migration to the American west coast that we’ve never seen quite before—dustier, sweatier, more brutal, and more genuinely feminine, meaning that the film is interested in what the Oregon Trail experience was like for women, who had to walk miles in the unforgiving heat while wearing heavy dresses with bonnets, had to take care of the children, and had to wake up at before dawn to prepare breakfast. This is a film that gives the mundanity of the journey and the life-or-death stakes of the situation equal consideration and screen time, and the result is something that feels true to how it must have been. I found it fascinating.

(Available on Netflix Instant now)

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THE TREE OF LIFE

 

This is a very pretty movie, but the magic of Terrence Malick’s films, to me, lies in the editing. This is where his poetry is actually accomplished. My favorite parts of the movie are the unexpected combinations of images and sounds, which is rare to find in cinema, as most movies are typically executed in an obvious way, as far as camera/sound/editing goes. A movie like this is less about executing a story as it is about evoking a feeling. I don’t know why, but my favorite moment of the movie is a brief shot of the camera moving slowly toward a wall as some voice over begins. I think most people wouldn’t even notice the shot, as it’s brief and not connected to anything, but it has some subconscious effect, and felt true to the way I remember things—I remember walls, staircases, breezes from places I’ve been, and they’ll just pop up in my mind sometimes, independent of anything else. Moments like that were actually at the core of my emotional connection to this movie. That’s what made it feel so incredibly personal to me, and when those tiny intimate memories were juxtaposed with the epic, expansive images that are also in the film, I found it to be incredibly moving, and it left me wondering about EVERYTHING for a long while.

(Available on Blu-Ray/DVD now)

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I also really liked SUBMARINE, COLD WEATHER, WHERE SOLDIERS COME FROM and CONAN O’BRIEN CAN’T STOP, but I didn’t feel like writing about them.

Everything else I saw this year was GARBAGE.  (just kidding y’all, sorta)

Movies I Liked in 2011 (Part 1)

I’m not a big fan of ranked lists when it comes to movies, but I thought I’d muse a bit on some of the movies that I really liked in 2011. I wrote out a bunch of movies that I liked and whittled that down to 8 movies that I felt like writing about. That doesn’t mean that these are the best and these are not in any order.

I’m going to write about 4 movies here and write about the next 4 in another post, just to keep this post from being too long.

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TOMBOY

This is a movie about a young female who decides to be a boy after her family moves to a new town. After watching it, I said that it appealed to the 10-year-old girl in me who is still pretending to be a boy. That was a joke, but I think we all can relate to the attempts to learn how to be our particular gender, especially around that age. This is not a complicated movie, but it’s unusually sensitive and observant, which is where most of its power comes from. A scene in which the main character goes swimming with all the other kids while wearing nothing but the bottom part of a swimsuit with a makeshift Play-Doh penis tucked inside was the most suspenseful thing I’ve seen all year.

You can catch director Céline Sciamma’s first movie, WATER LILLIES, on Netflix Instant now. While I liked TOMBOY more, WATER LILLIES is still a beautiful work about longing and sexual confusion. I’m always a fan of movies about that.

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UNCLE BOONMEE WHO CAN RECALL HIS PAST LIVES

I like weird movies, and this is a weird movie. But it’s so delicately handled that it never feels like there’s anything all that weird about it (save for a scene in which a fish fellates an aging princess). Weird movies can often be distancing, but this movie feels like a wise, serene smile from an old friendly soul. Beautifully made on 16mm film, the perfect format to capture green trees and friendly ghosts. It’s haunting in the sweetest way. I feel like I shouldn’t say too much about it, as it’s better to let the movie surprise you. (Now available on Netflix Instant)

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WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT KEVIN

 

I’m a big Lynne Ramsay fan, and I had been waiting for a long time to see this movie (her last movie was 2002’s MORVERN CALLAR). From the first shot, I was blissfully back in Ramsayland. I love this movie because I love Ramsay’s sensibilities, so while there are a few things I can nitpick about, particularly regarding the portrayal of Kevin, my criticisms don’t matter. All I ask for from a movie is something to swim in, and Ramsay, along with Tilda Swinton, gave me the ocean. Every gorgeous shot, every odd sound, is so wonderfully orchestrated to plunge us into the broken mind of this ruined woman, forever doomed to swirl around the hows and whys of her relationship with her sociopathic son.

This movie is rolling out in the U.S. over the next couple of months. Look out for it and catch it if you can! Oh it begs to be seen on the big screen!

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HUGO

This movie originally had the perfect title of THE INVENTION OF HUGO CABRET, which was truncated to HUGO for some stupid reason, which, along with the horrendously candy cane trailer, gave everyone the wrong idea about what this movie really was. As it turns out, it’s a heartfelt and beautiful love letter to Georges Méliès and the magic of cinema. Martin Scorsese turned out to be the perfect director for this because of his deep love for cinema and film preservation, and he’s having oodles of fun here. It’s apt for this story to be told through the eyes of children, as the movie contains several moments of pure wonder and magic, and as we see the wonder wash over the face of a child, it’s impossible not to feel that child-like wonder ourselves. Beyond that, it’s genuinely funny and moving. The 3D is pretty good if you like that sort of thing, though not at all necessary. Go catch this one in cinemas while you still can!

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Part 2 of this list can be found here.

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