Well I’m getting on a plane in about 12 hours to fly to Cannes for the film festival. I’m also taking the opportunity to hop over to England for a few days while I’m in Europe to see my old friends in Brighton, where I lived for a year. I miss Brighton and my friends so much! I’m more excited about that than the film festival.
I have such mixed feelings about going to Cannes, though, to be honest. I think that it’s a good thing that I’m going, but I’m working on a new short film and a big part of me wants to just focus on putting that together (though a break may be good for me to help me see it with clearer eyes). Another thing is that I’m not a huge partier, and Cannes is going to exhaust me with the endless parties. It’s also going to be expensive. Thinking about all of this just makes me want to go to sleep.
With all that said, though, I am happy to be going. I think that it will be a valuable experience for me, and I DO think that it will be a lot of fun once I’m there.
It’s the same feeling that I had just before I went traveling for 5 months a few years ago. The way I travel is not comfortable, but incredibly rewarding. I CouchSurf, I put myself out there, I meet people, and I don’t have it all planned out, and the experiences are all the richer for it. But it’s also a lot of work.
I guess it’s also the same feeling that I have right before embarking on making a new movie. The amount of work is daunting, and the period of time BEFORE you’re actually engaged in the activity but can think about all the work that’s ahead of you is just a very weird thing. But, by now I should know that, once I step out the door tomorrow morning, the DOING of it will take over the thinking about it and things will either click, or I will respond to whatever is not clicking and adapt to make it work. That’s what we do when we’re engaged in something. It’s beautiful when you’re in it; it’s nerve-racking in the moments just before you jump in.
It is a comfort to me that I’ve traveled extensively already, so it’s not a big deal that I’m just taking a two week trip to basically go to the beach and watch some movies. But it involves a gear shift from my normal life and there’s always the butterflies that comes with that.
Actually, just typing all this out makes me feel a lot more relaxed about the whole thing. Thanks, blog.
Strangely enough, my biggest worry is that I won’t be able to do what I really need to do: Have Fun. I’m not always great at giving myself permission to just have fun, but that’s exactly what I gotta do.
Oh, and since I briefly mentioned the new movie that I’m working on, let me show you the trailer for it:
It’s called IT FELT GOOD TO HAVE THIS PAIN and I am very, very excited about it!
If you want more info about the film and want to get updates about it, please visit and “like” the Facebook page for it: http://www.facebook.com/itfeltgoodtohavethispain
We have pretty much finished shooting it, except for a couple of pickup shots and bits of audio. I’ll jump right back into editing it when I return from Europe, and I plan to have it completed in late-June/early-July, and we’ll see if we can get it into some festivals.
Anyway. See you in France!